Post-College "Depression"?

Well. It's been a year since I wrote last. So much has changed... and yet, many things remain the same. Where to begin? I suppose I could try to summarize my past year at Northwestern... Since The Manhattan Stories sync with my facebook notes, it seems like it might be redundant. That and not many people read The Manhattan Stories, if any at all. Oh well. Here goes.

Last year was a whirlwind of activity for me, what with it being my first year of college, first year being away from my family, and so on. I invested in many friendships, ones that I hope will endure in the year to come. I learned some lessons, was exposed to some, and, I hope, grew in God through it all. I wish I could say that I am eager to return next fall, but unfortunately this is impossible. Not having an adequate GPA for the fall semester, i have been placed on academic suspension until i can bring my grades up.

I would launch into a tirade in the vein of "why do i do this to myself?" or "I'm so stupid" or "if i really valued my time at northwestern, i would have..." but I would like to think that i'm more grown up than that. I'm 19 years old, turning twenty this year, and I'm too old to throw myself a pity party. I will certainly miss my friends, professors, and even the architecture at Northwestern, but pouting and wishing for what might have been will not bring them back to me. What WILL bring them back, is hard work and sacrifice on my part. I have the opportunity to take either distance education classes to bring up my GPA, or I can go to a community college (probably MSU) to get credit for some classes for cheap and show that I can study properly on my own, that I have what it takes to be a college student. I know I do. I just need to apply myself so that I can re-join my friends come fall 2010.

What with having all this "free" time, i've been keeping pretty busy. My dad is quite the disciplinarian (no, he didn't spank me), we've been working our tails off to get the basement all renovated in time for our former pastor, Steve Mathewson, and his family to come stay for his daughter's wedding here in MT. Hence, I get precious little time to spend on the computer or on my instruments of choice, which may be a problem when i join the bozeman city band for paying gigs. hopefully i can get my chops back in shape in time for my first rehearsal next week. i guess i'll find out. It's only a summer gig, playing concerts every week at Bogert park. Mostly marches and trash like that. Nothing against marches, really, but they aren't much fun on a trombone. Walking bass lines and playing on the "and" of the beat the entire time. Not my idea of fun. oh well.

I guess i've vented enough. Hopefully i will be a little more consistent about posts (i can't get much worse than I have been, a whole year between posts), and maybe i can look back on this as a learning experience, see how i've grown in the past year. If nothing else, it'll be fun to look back on this as a journal.

But it's time for bed. Getting up at 5:30 is no picknick, and that's exactly what i have to do tomorrow.

Until next time.

RLC